6.10.2012

The Last Straw!


I'M BACK!!

Its been way to long since I have posted anything on here, and to be honest even focused on this journey/diet.  This is not good at all.  Its not that I have forgot about it because its always a thought in the back of my mind.  Heck I probably think about it even more because I'm not doing good.  It sucks!  I'm sure everyone out there will agree with me when I say dieting is hard!  Its not easy by any means, it takes a lot of work, dedication, focus and support to achieve your goals and even then its extremely hard!

Well today was the last straw for me.  I have been following my weight on a regular basis and have known its been going back up little by little.  However it has been staying around the same number until the past few days and leading into today.  As of this morning I weighed 237 pounds.  Yes that's correct I said 237!  This is 12 pounds heavier from my lowest point of 225 and only 8 pounds under where I started last June 23rd.  Not good!  Now granted I'm still 23 pounds lighter from the highest I have ever been at 260 pounds.  But like I said today was the last straw.  Seeing that 237 number made me sick to my stomach.  I started thinking about all that hard work I had put in to lose the weight and look good and in that moment it all seemed like a huge waste. This was not what I had planned and sure as heck not what I wanted!  So right then I made the call that today was going to be the last day this non focused, non determined Bryan would be around.  I told myself "pig out all you want today because come tomorrow its time to get down to business".  So come dinner time it hit me that I needed to end the day with the same way I did the night before my journey started.  I needed to stuff my face with something that would leave a mark for the rest of the night and leave me feeling like crap.  For those that remember it was Filberto's that did the trick last time.  So tonight's "final meal" was yet again Filberto's.  I got a Steak & Egg Burrito and 3 rolled tacos with cheese & sour cream.  I would never eat this much from there and normally can barley finish my burrito, but the plan was to pretty much make myself feel horrible so the meal would stick fresh in my mind.  Well it did the trick, and I couldn't even finish everything.  But I know for a fact that come tomorrow and all next week I will still be thinking about that meal!

Another thing I decided to do to help lose the weight and kick start it again is grow my beard.  Everyone knows that I can grow a pretty awesome beard and grow it pretty quickly.  It had been a good 4 or 5 days since I last shaved, so today when I went in to clean up decided that I would grow out my beard and not shave it till I get back to my lowest point of 225 pounds.  This is great motivation because its summer time in Arizona.  Who the heck wants a beard in this heat!  However it will only be a face beard as I will keep the neck clean.  Come on, I'm not a total idiot!

So with that said wish me luck (again) as I get back on track and finish what I started a year ago this month.  Tomorrow is gong to be a great day for me!

Till tomorrow.......

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